Saturday, April 15, 2017

What is Living Loved?

Target style

Target style

Target style

Target style

“Live from the abundant place that you are loved, and you won’t find yourself begging others for scraps of love”

Hello all, I hope that you are having a great Easter weekend. Today I wanted to speak about the concept of Living Loved! I recently purchased the book Uninvited by Lisa TerKeurst that speaks on Living loved when you feel less then, left out, and lonely. I haven’t made it through the entire book but what I have read has me on fire for the concept of Living Loved. I will try and speak about several of the teachings in this book throughout my blog, but today I want to talk about What the mind focuses on? 

“The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity” 

Many times we find ourselves focusing on what was said or not said by others. For instance if someone makes a remark about my blog I may smile politely and say thank you. I then walk away and my mind starts to wander; the Line “ I saw you modeling on Facebook girl” becomes the label “ You are not pretty enough to be a model” and finally the lie is “I am not worthy”. The thought of not being worthy becomes a script of self- rejection that comes with fear, doubt, and insecurities. You see I have projected these thoughts on this person with out them even saying the words you are not worthy. But why? 

“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me” 

Our thoughts and words say a lot about us. They speaks to what we are thinking and what has been said or taught to us in the past. If we continue to hold on to these teachings we then project them onto other people we meet or try to have a relationship with. Maybe we’ve learned these negative thoughts through past relationships with friends, family, or even parents. Maybe we have been rejected and felt unwanted. But why does every person we meet have to wear these badges?  What if we are even projecting these thoughts onto God? You cannot change the present with broken thoughts of yourself and you cannot build anew with old broken pieces. God is unchanging he is all loving and overall he is good. So why are we projecting anything less than Love. Saying the words “I’m yours, God” and truly believe this can change us so much. The negative thoughts then becomes I’m not what others have said I am, I’m not who Instagram likes says I am, I’m not what the scale says I am. Rather, I am loved. I am Yours. I am forever yours God. But how do we incorporate this into our everyday lives? 

The three questions: Is God good?, Is God good to me?, Do I trust God to be God? 

First of all you must answer these questions with truth not feelings. Is God good? This question we think is easy enough but how many times have we doubted that God was good and good to everyone. God’s plans have always been good for us this is never changing. Although we do suffer in this life time in the end we must trust that God is good and has good plans for us. Is God good to me? At times it is easy to wonder if God is good to you but we must remember that it is our feelings that question if God is good to us. It is our flesh that tells us that we may not be loved by God but what we fail to realize is that God lives in us and will never leave us. Even through my hardest and darkest days God will never leave me so therefore I know God is good to me. Do I trust God to be God? We must trust God to be good at being God and allow him to flood our lives with his goodness; do not get weary and worry because it is when we worry that we forget God is good at being God and this to shall pass. 

“ Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” - Psalm 37:4 

Once we answer these three questions we can better understand what Living Loved is about, but how do we practice this in our everyday lives. Well I can’t lie I’m still learning how to incorporate this in my life; I wake up daily with negative thoughts of myself. I do know that starting each day with positive thoughts of God loving me and being good to me will put me on the right track, so what if we started each day longing for his love and grace and not longing for the love of others? If God will never leave us or forsake us then why do we leave him and forsake his love? We are constantly searching for the love and acceptance of others that we forget about the love that God longs to give us each and everyday. Sorry if this was a long post but I just wanted to put a little positive energy into your lives. I hope you all wake up tomorrow knowing that you are Living Loved.

My outfit details: Top |  Shorts | Necklace | Shoes | Book 

Photos by: De Anna Pittari 

I wanted to say Thank you to Lisa TerKeurst if for some reason you might have stumbled onto my little blog you should know that your words have taught me so much.

Please note that some of these words are not my own and that I'm simply trying to summarize what the book is teaching.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Autism Awareness Month

Hello all I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend! My weekends are a time to relax and recuperate for the next work week and I also enjoy being lazy. My job takes up so much of my time and energy during the week I have little or no time to write on the blog, but I wanted to write about something today that is near and dear to my heart. I’ve spoken about my job before but for those who don’t follow the blog; I currently work for an agency that assists with services for adults and children with disabilities. I have met so many amazing and beautiful people in the span of my career and this is why the topic today is so close to my heart. April being Autism Awareness month I wanted to speak about Autism Spectrum Disorder in children.

I wrote a whole blog post about Autism Spectrum disorder symptoms and diagnosis but then I erased it all and I decided to write from the heart. If you want to know about symptoms and diagnosis you can visit Autism Speaks. Today I want to write about the Hope I have experienced working with children with Autism.

So here it goes, I landed my first real job fresh out of college. I applied at so many places and I hoped to just get a call back. When I did get a call back I interviewed and to my luck I got the job. I was like OMG I’m a true adult now and I’m gonna be so awesome at my new job. I must admit I knew nothing about applied behavior analysis and what it all entailed but I was just happy to be on board. I showed up to work for the first day and I was excited to learn I’d be working with really young children from 3 years old to 5 years. It seemed easy enough right? Well to my surprise a 3 year old can have a strong will and a sort of grit to them. Needless to say I was more than tired after my first week of work spending all day with 3 year olds and running after my own 10 month old at home. After my first week of on the job training trying to understand ABA therapy: positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, extinction, and punishment which was a lot to take in, I was on my own as an individual trainer. We would rotate children in the class room and every week I’d have a different little one to train. I was honestly skeptical at first thinking this stuff is never gonna work. I mean really how many times can I hold up a pieces of candy and ask a kid to stack blocks before I physically have to take their hands and stack the blocks for them. It seemed like they would never get it, How could they?

Training goals seem easy enough but when someone is holding your favorite snack in front of you and asking you to perform a task you cannot understand; you’re going to at some point get frustrated. When I say I was beat up by 3 year olds I am not over exaggerating. Days seemed long and tiring and I don’t know if I was more tired or they were. And then one day out of nowhere a small window would open up and then it happened. We would move from the first step to the next and on to a new goal and new training. This small being this little child who never looked me in my eyes, never smiled at me, never even acknowledged me would one day just get it. I remember working a training goal of speaking the word Marshmallow; we would start with holding the marshmallow up and then repeating “Say Ma ma ma, Marsh, Marsh, Marshmallow”. Then again repeat the command “say Ma Ma Ma” all while holding the fluffy white snack in the air. And then one of my little ones said it! I held the marshmallow in the air spoke the command and had time to say one “ma” before he yelled out “Marshmallow”…. He said it in a way like Dammit give me the Marshmallow already! I jump so quickly out of my seat I startled him (which is not the correct way to give a positive reinforcement). I then handed him the whole bag of Marshmallows I was so excited (also not correct but oh well). He smiled I mean he smiled like the clouds had opened up and God had shine down on him. Not a big achievement right? Well yes!! Because you see this little boy was 4 years old and had never spoken a word. Never. Marshmallow could have well been his first word; his first spoken word at four years old and I was there to see it, to hear it, or better yet to teach him it. Little by little these kids they were getting it.

They were soaking it all in while learning through Applied Behavior Analysis. I was learning as well; learning about reinforcements and most importantly patience and persistence. If you worked the training right and held on with hope one day they would get it and show you hey listen I’m here! I’m here and I’m listening and I may not look at you or hug you but I can hear you and I Can learn. I am not disabled I’m more then capable to do what you are asking it will just take time and patience. When I left this job I cried, and I mean a lot. I had taken away so many wonderful moments that at one point I had seen these kids as my own. My own little amazing beings. A year later I checked in on that little boy and was so happy to learn that he was speaking whole sentences with humor (who would have known he was so funny). lol His parents were so grateful for the school and the ABA training he had received because they were able to hear their child’s voice. So much so that now they wish he’d be quiet once and a while. Ha ha.

Small achievements like this for a child living with Autism is like scaling a mountain. I was happy to have teaching ABA to children with Autism as my first job. It taught me more than I could have ever imagined. My hopes is that parents who have a small child diagnosed with Autism will see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that I feel how tired and worried you are, but keep the hope. Stay persistent and most importantly have patience.

For Assistance with services in the Texas area: Call 2-1-1 or visit for statewide programs & services. Or Call ECI: 1-800-628-5115 for info about birth to 3 years.  

Thanks for stopping by Lovelies...

My outfit details: Top |  Jeans |  Booties |  Belt |  Earrings

Photos by: De Anna Pittari 

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Hello Spring





Hello Spring… Don’t you just love the new life that emerges with spring? A since of renewal has started in my life this spring. Me and the hubby celebrated our one year anniversary in February and let me tell you marriage has been a journey. An exciting journey, a joyous journey, and a learning experience. What do you mean by this Alia?? Isn’t the first year all flowers and butterflies? Well let me tell you it has been an amazing first year of marriage with my hubby, as he is truly my soul mate. He’s strong when I’m weak, logical when I’m irrational, and organized when I’m truly and absolutely disorganized. So what’s the struggle in the first year of marriage?

Clearly hubz and I are good; despite the occasional spat about what to eat and where to park we are on all levels in love. No, this first year of my marriage I had to learn to love and let go of friendships. Let me tell you this is not an easy fleet. Letting go of what seemed to be everlasting is hard and it’s easy to lose sight of who you are in the process. I went through a serious grieving process and now that I’m on the other end I feel better for it, but are the feelings of sadness ever over; absolutely No.

You see grieving happens all throughout our lives and it doesn’t just come with death. No we grieve for various reasons in our lives; the loss of a loved one, relationships ending, and relationships beginning. You see, since our lives are ever changing we are always having to say hello and good bye to various stages in our lives and that anxiety or sadness you feel in those stages, well that’s grieving. I once read an article that spoke about how new parents grieve the loss of their old lives together. What once was two became three and the romance they once shared is now frantic with 3 am bottle feedings and 5 hours of sleep.

SO why am I bringing this up?? Well to move on in one’s life you must grieve what you lost and make a new. Losing a good friend is never easy especially when you don’t understand why you lost them in the first place. I may never understand what took those friendships away I can speculate but speculations are never the truth. After grieving it’s important to remember that not all losses are terrible. Some relationships are only supposed to last a season and others a lifetime.
So what’s the Renewal in this lesson? The loss of friendship brings the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends or to renew a friendship once thought to be lost. A renewed meaning of hope and happiness comes after the grieving. A feeling of being accepted and loved in a world where it’s easy to feel left out and unaccepted. 

Also wanted to point out this great spring dress that of course features a floral print. It caught my eye when scrolling through Facebook one day.You know the ads of things you might enjoy. Well Facebook knew me enough to know I'd be so into this beautiful dress. It's fresh and girly and not to mention totally sexy. Hope you enjoy, Thanks for stopping by Lovelies...

My outfit details: Dress | Bag | Shoes | Hat

Photos by: De Anna Pittari